“Ultra” fans to be referred to as “moderates”

Ultra

UEFA have renamed Russian Ultra fans “Moderates” in an attempt to prevent violence at the Euro 2016 competition, according to a spokesperson.

The news comes after several approaches by UEFA and the French Police to quash hooliganism.

“We implore these Russian fans to stop fighting, basically” a UEFA representative said.

“They seem to think that they are well hard and are relishing the media coverage. They have refused to stop fighting, so we’ll now refer to them as “moderates” in the media which will be a bit embarrassing for them really. Their pride will take a beating, much like their football team over the next few weeks, I’d imagine.”

“So there is no misunderstanding, we do like Russia. I even voted for them in the Eurovision song contest. It’s a travesty Ukraine won. But enough is enough now.”

“Should the violence continue, our next approach is to call them “pansies”, or failing that, “sods”.