“I love the fresh air” says smoker

fresh air

A man has today described his love of the fresh air whilst having a cigarette.

“I love anything to do with the outdoors. At weekends you’ll catch me walking off a hangover along the docks and through fields. I’m planning on doing the “Three Peaks” challenge for charity next year and I’ve taken up golf.” commented Matt Clark, Portsmouth.

“I love the fresh air, the feeling of cleanliness and breathing easy whilst soaking in the beautiful British countryside. But I also love cigarettes. And myself. But that’s irrelevant.”

“There is something about being outside that really makes me want to smoke. Addiction aside, I think it is because it makes me look cooler, and means I can upload a good picture to instagram to let my followers know that not only am I cool, I’m also environmentally conscious.”

“Then I chuck my cigarette butt on the floor and continue on my journey”.