A man has exclaimed that he’ll only “have a few tonight” to his friends.
Matt Clark, an accountant from Oxfordshire, told friends in a showing of strength and will-power that he will only “have a few” and “can’t get too pissed” because of a busy weekend schedule.
“My partner wants me to go to Ikea in the morning, to look for another coffee table which I’ll have to put together,” he commented. “She also wants me to mow the lawn and wash the car, whilst she catches up on Coronation Street. I’ve also got to save money because she wants to go on an all-inclusive holiday in the Summer.”
“So I can only have a few tonight. It’s been a long week so I want a drink but I can’t get too pissed. I was meant to do it last weekend but had too many on Friday night and was in bed all weekend watching House of Cards. She sulked all week.”
Despite his comments, his friends remain unconvinced.
“He said this last week and ended up off his tits. He woke up in a hedge with no trousers on. His missus was not happy.”