All popstars are set to sue each other for releasing singles which sound exactly like one another, it has been claimed
The news comes as Ed Sheeran is being sued for $20 million for releasing his soppy acoustic single “Photograph”, which sounds vaguely like another song released in 2009, the writers of which you’ve probably never heard of.
Bruce Trotter, of Harpurhey, Manchester believes that every “artist” has stolen his idea.
“It’s quite obvious that all songs sound the same these days. Every other tosser that you know plays synth or is a “House DJ” now, and it’s “on point” to release an old classic tune with a shit beat in the background – or release a slow, boring and quite frankly terrible acoustic version of it for John Lewis’ Christmas Ads.”
“When popstars decide to be original, they obviously aren’t. Near enough every pop song is composed of the four same chords over and over again, in the same bloody order. That was my idea – catchy tunes. Playing four chords is my thing; they should make songs with either 5 or 6 chords. Or at least play them in a different order.”
“It doesn’t matter that nobody has ever heard of me, it’s the principle. They definitely have ripped off my style”.
“I therefore intend to sue everyone who has made money from copying this structure. They don’t have a leg to stand on, unless by some miracle they finally develop some talent.”
“Let’s be honest though, we’re not exactly talking about Beethoven here. Take 2 examples, Lady Gaga wears her food, and Adele can only remember her age by using it as album names”.