Man receives medical attention after choking on his own bullshit


A man has received medical attention after choking on his own bullshit.

Matt Clark, of Bristol was in the middle of retelling the time he knocked out a doorman with one punch to co-workers when he started choking and the emergency services were called as a precaution.

“Bullshitting in such large amounts can be extremely damaging to the health. Unfortunately it is not the first time we’ve had to attend the scene of a bullshit choking incident involving Mr. Clark” stated Catherine Laggin, the Paramedic who assisted.

“Two weeks ago, he told a stranger in the pub that he got arrested on a stag do when in fact it was his friend. Then last week, he claimed to his friends that he slept with a lap dancer at a strip club. In fact, he ejaculated in his jeans after 2 minutes.”

“Fortunately I did an extra curricular first aid course whilst studying for my degree, so I knew exactly what to do when I started feeling unwell”, commented Matt Clark shortly afterwards.

“Intersting story about that actually, once I saw a car crash on my way home from work and I saved a child’s life by administering CPR using some of the techniques I had learnt.”

“He’s clearly lying” observed co-workers. “He fainted when he got a papercut.”