Irrelevant celebrities throughout the UK are exclaiming their voting intentions in the upcoming EU referendum, it has emerged.
Following reports that Jodie Marsh will vote to leave the EU, Emily Tate, known for sharing videos of her making noises blowing a straw on Youtube, has now announced that she intends to vote to remain a member of the EU.
“I may well be famous for basically making a tit out of myself, but I have a great interest in this vote and want to share my thoughts with all of my fans. But also, take steps towards a TV career by hopefully getting an interview on the news, or failing that, a mention on the gossip pages.”
“I’m going to vote to remain in the EU. Mainly, because I filled in a survey sent to me on Facebook which told me I’ll save £10,000 if we stay in the EU, and obviously I don’t want to lose that.”
“I also have some friends who were a lot more intelligent than me in school who have changed their profile pictures on Facebook to the EU flag. If they’re voting to remain, why wouldn’t I?”
Emily expressed concern however that as a member of voting to remain, she wouldn’t get the coverage she hoped for from the various media outlets.
“You see it everywhere don’t you, “You can’t trust Boris or Farage; you are the company you keep, and all of that stuff” she said. “I did consider voting out, because many dim-witted, irrelevant celebrities seem to be doing that.”
“But let’s be clear. There are some absolute morons voting to remain in as well. Why don’t we get the coverage we deserve? I have announced my intentions solely for exposure but nobody reports on this” she added.
“If I don’t get the exposure I need, I might just gain loads of weight and do a weight loss video at some point next year. There’s a gap in the market for that sort of thing.”
“Failing that, I’ll marry someone and divorce them a week later. That seems to work well.”