Backpacker “discovers himself” after travelling


A man has “discovered himself” after spending six months travelling with friends.

“Before I left the UK to find my inner self, I was just an average guy, there was nothing to me whatsoever’, says Matt Clark, Cambridge.

“I couldn’t be bothered to get a job and I wasn’t allowed to lay about doing nothing here in the UK, so I decided that travelling was the only sensible thing for me to do.”

“After spending my parents’ money on skydiving, paddle-boarding and getting unsuspecting girls shit-faced so I could shag them in a dorm full of sleeping backpackers, I feel I have blossomed into a completely different person. I really know who I am now. Apparently, I am self-righteous twat.”

“I have seen so many things. I have gone on a safari through South Africa, dived in the Great Barrier Reef, and watched Big John have a breakdown whilst tripping on acid watching the Northern Lights. Truly unforgettable experiences.”

“I finally feel I understand life, and have a new found appreciation for the environment. I’ve decided to become a vegetarian, and yesterday after sorting out the recycling I shared a post about consumerism with my friends on Facebook.”

“I really want to go travelling again, but want to be original. That’s why I’m thinking about going to Thailand. I’d try to explain my mantra to you, but if you haven’t been travelling you just wouldn’t understand”.