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Popstars

“That song sounds like mine” claim Popstars

Teacher

“Sod it, I’m off” says Teacher

limp handshakes

Louis Theroux to explore limp handshakes

bullshit

Man receives medical attention after choking on his own bullshit

Late

“Sorry I’m late” says selfish twat

About Christopher Peacock
Blabber, Business

Everyone still hates Azealia Banks

Christopher Peacock/May 14, 2016June 13, 2016
Azealia Banks

Everyone still hates Azealia Banks, it’s been confirmed. Azealia Banks has recently taken to Twitter to launch a racist and homophobic attack on Zayn Malik. Despite attempting to apologise for her actions, it appears the general public still think she’s a knob. “She is just a bit of a twat really isn’t she?” says Matt…

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Blabber, Current Affairs, Politics

“Sod it, I’m off” says Teacher

Christopher Peacock/May 13, 2016June 13, 2016
Teacher

A teacher today has declared that she is planning a holiday during term-time, despite protests from her school children and their parents, it has emerged. Jenny Plumtree, of Cambridgeshire, has been a Geography Teacher for 5 years. “Basically, sod it. Just sod it.” she commented. “It’s alright for little Timmy to go on holiday during…

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Blabber, Gossip

Greggs Pasty “Exactly how Nazi Germany started” says Eamonn Holmes

Christopher Peacock/May 12, 2016June 13, 2016
Pasty

Eamonn Holmes has compared a recent experience in Greggs with a pasty to that of Nazi Germany, it has been reported. Holmes, presenter for Sky News and pastry advocate, was involved in an altercation over a cheese and bean pasty. “I love a cheese and bean pasty. But it turns out that Greggs had sold…

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Blabber, Gossip

Cliff Richard re-releases “Millenium prayer” after file of evidence

Christopher Peacock/May 10, 2016June 13, 2016
Cliff Richard

Sir Cliff Richard has re-released “Millennium Prayer” after a file of evidence was handed to Police amid allegations of historical assault. “Basically, I’ve been out of the lime-light for a long time an it seemed like a good time to released new material. Plus, I could really do with a prayer right now.” he commented…

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Blabber, Gossip

“I know how it ends” say Game of Thrones fans

Christopher Peacock/May 3, 2016June 13, 2016
Game of Thrones

Fans of Game of Thrones have announced that they know how the show is going to end. “After watching the show for the last few months, I know exactly how it is going to end.  I haven’t read the books but, let’s be honest, who has.” says Matt Pritchard, an avid Game of Thrones fan…

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Blabber, Politics

Louis Theroux to explore limp handshakes

Christopher Peacock/May 2, 2016June 13, 2016
limp handshakes

Louis Theroux is to explore the dark world of limp handshakes in a new documentary, expected to be broadcast next Spring. Theroux, known for his unusual conversational and communication style, admits he found this topic particularly interesting moving, whilst impossible to comprehend. “I usually like to appear innocent and vulnerable when posing questions to racist…

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Blabber, Health

Man receives medical attention after choking on his own bullshit

Christopher Peacock/April 7, 2016June 13, 2016
bullshit

A man has received medical attention after choking on his own bullshit. Matt Clark, of Bristol was in the middle of retelling the time he knocked out a doorman with one punch to co-workers when he started choking and the emergency services were called as a precaution. “Bullshitting in such large amounts can be extremely…

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Blabber, Business

HR Administrator makes up an important job title

Christopher Peacock/April 6, 2016June 13, 2016
job title

An HR Administrator has decided to change her Job Title to “HR “working together” Leader, it has emerged. Felicity Jobsworth, based in Farringdon, Hampshire, has been employed in the HR team of a construction company for the past 2 years. “At first, I was employed as an HR Administrator, which completely made sense. However, since…

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Blabber, Health

“I love the fresh air” says smoker

Christopher Peacock/March 26, 2016June 13, 2016
fresh air

A man has today described his love of the fresh air whilst having a cigarette. “I love anything to do with the outdoors. At weekends you’ll catch me walking off a hangover along the docks and through fields. I’m planning on doing the “Three Peaks” challenge for charity next year and I’ve taken up golf.”…

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Blabber, Health

“I’ll only have a few tonight” says man

Christopher Peacock/March 18, 2016June 13, 2016
have a few

A man has exclaimed that he’ll only “have a few tonight” to his friends. Matt Clark, an accountant from Oxfordshire, told friends in a showing of strength and will-power that he will only “have a few” and “can’t get too pissed” because of a busy weekend schedule. “My partner wants me to go to Ikea…

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